#14- SS Mosquito

Wait! If new to this blog, there's so many nitty gritty details that you've missed! I promise that you'll want to start this adventure from the beginning by starting with the first post, Feb 27- found on the right side bar.  At your leisure, come follow our adventure, by reading following posts in order by date, (which I hope to keep short and entertaining!) Welcome to the Salt Life...

.......

“Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, A tale of a fateful trip…”

It’s been two weeks since our boat of life has shipwrecked in Florida. Every day we wake up hopeful that today will be our day. But as each day passes without news, it’s getting harder and harder to ward off fears that our rescue ship may never come. How will we survive this?

Six days into being marooned, Trav’s company called and advised that they were “cautiously optimistic” as big moves had been made by both sides to try to come to an agreement. As the peace talks continued, and the great divide lessened, we were expected to just sit tight and enjoy a "paid vacation" in Florida until things had been resolved and the hold on our Visas had been lifted. Easy to say when the bed you’re sleeping in at night is your own…

As the days passed by, the only ship that was sailing was our stuff, well on its way to the Bahamas. It’s now going to arrive before we do and we’re stuck trying to research non climate controlled storage for a big metal crate from the mainland.  I’m honestly wondering if we’ll ever see our stuff again or what the condition will be, after sitting in the Caribbean summer heat. When we excitedly watched them drive our sealed crate away many weeks ago, we never thought this would be the case.

 “If not for the courage of the fearless crew, the minnow would be lost, the minnow would be lost”

It’s very difficult to relax, sleep, and have faith when your life is in someone else’s hands and on someone else’s time-frame. Though that’s exactly what everyone tells us we should be doing. On most days, the stress weighs very heavy and we wonder how we can keep going on like this. On other days, when we’re sitting on the beach, basking in the Florida sun, we are grateful that it wasn’t much worse.  

For the last 15 days there have been five stowaways- Trav, Bob and I, and Trav’s parents. They had so graciously offered to help us with this arduous move, having no idea what they were in for. It started over two weeks ago, on Mother’s Day, when his family helped us clean out our apartment on our final day in New York. The journey began the next day to Fort Lauderdale as his parents  were driving with us to help get us to our separate flights (Bob and Trav had a friend flying them over and I was flying the suitcases on Jet Blue). After we were well on our way, they had planned to drive our car to Palm Beach to have it shipped to the Bahamas.  After a week’s worth of stressful driving and strict timelines, they were going to reap their reward by going to their condo in Daytona, to enjoy a week’s vacation and fun in the sun.  They still made it to Daytona, but with much more "baggage" than they had expected. Every day we wake up and say “ugh, we’re still here” and they wake up saying “ugh, they’re still here”… Joking aside, it’s only the intense ups and downs that keep this from being a fantastic family vacation. I’m truly enjoying our beach days, our evening routine of cocktails and appetizers, and always trying somewhere new and on the water for dinner. Without them, we surely would have drowned by now.

 “The ship set ground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle with Gilligan, The Skipper too, The millionaire and his wife, the movie star, the professor and Mary Ann..”

The tropical isle we have wrecked upon, called Daytona, is unlike anything we have ever experienced. We’ve seen a sea monster, the largest flying frog in the world, an albino lizard, and beach hawks. There’s crazy crabs roaming the beach and the water is so crystal clear that fish of all sizes can be seen swimming through your toes. 

The people are just as interesting.  We aren’t spending our days making phones out of tin cans and writing SOS in the sand. We’re busy taking 3^rd place at Senior Trivia night, under the name “Jake From Statefarm”, killing it when they try to stump the crowd with questions from “Always Sunny in Philadelphia”. This isn’t the land of Gingers and Maryann’s, this is the land of $3.50 Long Islands, separate checks (everyone asks you the second you sit down), and is ruled by Seinfelds and Costanzas.

Even the bugs come to retire here as there’s every different kind and they do not mess around (#dma). When my 50 mosquito bites quickly became 75, I knew I had to get serious if I was going to survive the war they were raging. I found that not only was I the target of many species of mosquito, I was also being “hunted” by no-seeums, also known as biting midges (my new nickname).  These f**kers, are so small you can’t see them coming, they can even fit through the holes in the screen. Though you can’t see them, somehow they have magnificent teeth that saw into your skin so they can then inject you with an anticoagulant to drink your blood freely. I’m not done. They not only can smell their prey from over 50 meters, but they then send the signal out to all of their friends once they’ve found their buffet. It’s only the females that bite (those bitches) because they actually need blood to fertilize their eggs…AND they are attracted to carbon dioxide. So if you are alive, you are a target. What sick, sadistic…. Are you kidding me? At one point, I was dressed from head to toe in clothing in the middle of a Florida heat wave (complete with shoes and socks), drenched in every bug concoction possible ( I even had a bug wrist band around my ankle that was so big, it was like I was on house arrest), trying to walk the dog while taking very shallow breaths. It was like I was walking through a sleeping lion’s den, which is exactly what it was. Misery. After a trip to Daytona’s flea market,  another “experience”, I am now equipped with everything I could possibly need from holistic oils to straight up poison. I will win my skin back. 

“So this is the tale of the castaways, They’re here for a long, long time, They’ll have to make the best of things, It’s an uphill climb.”

See next post: #15- We Surrender, June 6th

#13- Is This The End??

I saw the movie ‘Heaven is For Real’ with my mom and Grandmother on a quick trip to Napa, a couple of weeks ago. In this entire process, it was the only two hours that I didn’t think about anything moving-related. Completely entertained, I let the story take me for a ride. Everyone will get their own message from this movie, but the one thing that has since resonated with me is that the images of God we’ve come to know are not actually what God looks like. The God witnessed by this little boy, and confirmed by others word-wide, are of a God with intense green eyes. For the last several weeks, above any message that movie conveyed, I can’t seem to get the intense look of God, as he stared at me across the theater, out of my mind.

I saw that same intensity in my husband’s eyes, only two weeks later, and just three nights ago, when our Tribulation began. 

We had been successfully led out of New York on Monday and had begun our descent down to Fort Lauderdale, Florida for Operation ‘Get Bob to his plane on Friday’. We had stops planned in New Jersey, South Carolina, Daytona, and Fort Lauderdale before finally arriving to the promise land (Bahamas) on Friday afternoon, 5/16. We had only been in Daytona for 60-minutes, after driving over 1,000 miles, and had just arrived at a pizza place to take a break from the long drive and catch up with friends and family, when Travis stepped out to take a phone call. I noticed his normal pacing in the parking lot but honestly didn’t think much of it. He came in, said his hellos to friends at the table that we hadn’t seen since the wedding, and slipped into the booth across from me. As the conversation started up again, I glanced across the table and saw panic. Intense panic. Something wasn’t right. I mouthed “what’s wrong?” He mouthed back “it’s really bad”. 

The words and energy that continued in static movement around us just seemed to add to the fog that I was in.  I immediately asked for us to be excused and Trav and I stepped outside. He told me that he had just received a phone call from his new boss in the Bahamas, and was just advised that our Visas were “on-hold due to a contractual dispute” between Trav’s hotel group and the Bahamian Developer, BHD. Due to the dispute, all visas for this project were put on hold immediately until a resolution was reached, if it could be reached.

WAR…

They had no further information, as this new wrinkle had literally just been revealed to everyone involved that very day, but they did know without a doubt that Travis and I were not going to have our Visas cleared in time for our flights on Friday. Our first thought was that we would go anyway, with just our passports, but this was quickly shot down. Because we have one-way tickets and a private plane for Bob, we have been flagged by customs. Any arrival without proper paperwork would “result in our immediate detainment”. How could this be happening? We walked back into the pizza place, completely stunned, and took our place at the table. We didn’t take another bite.

FAMINE…

How could this be happening? The skies grew dark gray and rain the size of golf balls fell as the thunder cracked. One flash of lightening and I watched our entire life’s hopes and dreams go up in smoke. 

NATURAL DISASTERS…

My breakdown would rival any antichrist. I screamed and cried and shortly after, my head started spinning as I cursed everyone and everything. I cursed God for such blasphemous actions against my family. I cursed Travis and anyone in my path for leading me to this moment. And then I ran. I didn’t know where I was going. I had nowhere to go. We had nothing. I was running, in the dark, with no direction. It was the most lost I have ever been in my life.  

Travis came to find me in the dark and the world stopped burning for just a moment. We could only focus on what we needed to do right now. There was no way we could focus on what any of this meant for our big picture. We had to cancel Bob’s flight- heartbreaking. We had to cancel shipping our car the next day and cancel Bob’s Vet appointment for his travel certificate. I had a commercial flight and two hotel rooms to cancel last minute. With each phone call, our Armageddon became more real. 

After all the calls were made, we surrendered. Our NY home was gone, we had sold everything we owned. What we didn’t sell was well on its way to the Bahamas by boat and would arrive on May 30^th, just weeks away and we might not be there to receive it.  The COO of Trav’s hotel group called to personally apologize and gave us all of the information he had, which was little. He gave more information on the contractual dispute that had nothing to do with us, and advised he was hopeful that things would be resolved. However, no one had any idea how long this could take. He told us to sit tight and enjoy a paid vacation while things worked themselves out…

Now, I’ve always been a spiritual person but God created a control freak. I have managed every step of this International move to a tee. I meticulously sold each part of our lives down to our Tupperware and planned every detail down to the cup of dog food needed before more food arrives with our stuff, and now, my only option is to sit tight and wait for our future to be decided? HOLY shit

Day one was a gamut of emotions, followed by a tornado warning. No metaphor here, a real freaking tornado. We couldn’t sit still but the terrible weather limited our options. As soon as the sun cleared, we rushed to an outside eatery on the water, hoping to sail our worries off to sea. I came home with over 35 mosquito bites.

LOCUSTS…

Day two was oddly full of gratitude. Travis, Bob and I were safe and we were together. Bob had handled the drive incredibly well and was quickly acting like Daytona was his final destination. We realized it was simply not a coincidence that the sky fell in the short window that we were passing through Daytona where Trav’s parents have a condo. We not only have a free place to stay, it is an amazing place to stay! And the more we surrendered, it seemed that the more was revealed. All of a sudden, as Trav and I were walking Bob through the condo complex, we saw an SUV with a large, bright sticker in the middle of their huge back window. The sticker said “Salt Life”. We looked at each other without words. That same morning we were at breakfast on the pier on what turned into a beautiful sunny day when a gentleman walked in with a blue shirt and the stark white writing smacked us in the face “Salt Life”.  This was too weird, what were we supposed to be getting from these messages? Later that day, another SUV set in our path, complete with Golden Retriever in the backseat and another “Salt Life” bumper sticker screaming to us. 

SIGNS FROM HEAVEN…

So as we sit in this moment, not knowing where we’re going to live or work or when we’ll see anything other than our few suitcases again, I’m smiling. We’re at the beach right now, being kissed by the sun and spoken to by the waves. My Salt Life has always included cool breezes and sandy feet. This whole time the Bahamas has been our promised land, but could this be it?  Have we simply already found our Garden of Eden? As we wait for our ship to sail, it seems only time will tell…

Read Next:  #14- SS Mosquito, May 29

#11 Queen of Moving

Wait! If new to this blog, there's so many nitty gritty details that you've missed! I promise that you'll want to start this adventure from the beginning by starting with the first post, Feb 27- found on the right side bar.  At your leisure, come follow our adventure, by reading following posts in order by date, (which I hope to keep short and entertaining!) Welcome to the Salt Life...

...

It seemed like the day after we signed our American lives away, we woke up in a King of Beers Super Bowl commercial.

All of a sudden, the snow that was still falling well into April was graceful and beautiful instead of insanely annoying.

Bob, no joke, gave up his slow roll instantaneously and began to prance on all of our walks like a Clydesdale. (mixed with Corgi) It was a gait I had never seen before.

And every Robert Frost-esque road we followed in the moving process seemed to be leading seamlessly to happily ever after. Everything that had to do with the move now seemed way too easy. Even for me. It was like the wide-mouth can of life had popped its top and all of the blessings were flowing free.

I have to say that I am an expert mover. Since I have moved more times then years I have been alive, I'm privy to pretty much all of the do's and don'ts involved in any move. Finally, in my mid-30's this information would prove to be useful.

To start the process of moving our stuff, we learned that you have three options getting your personal belongings over to the Bahamas. Our cheapest option is to ship items by boat which takes 6-8 weeks. Since we will need things in that 6-8 weeks time to still live in New York and then Bahamas, there is an air option to take everything that can't come in a suitcase, a week before we board our flights. This option takes a week to 10 days, and is expensive, so our main goal is to avoid this need completely. That means that whatever doesn't go on a boat to disappear for two months, has to be taken in one of the few suitcases allowed by commercial airlines. Easier said then done. In addition to calculating the weight, and size when trying to realize how important your things are to you, you have to also calculate the duty you will have to pay on them to bring them to the Bahamas. Yes, those champagne glasses that my Grandmother gave us as a gift for our wedding that have been used 200 times will cost us a duty tax, even though they are used AND a gift. We will literally have a customs official unpacking our crate in Bahamian customs assessing a duty tax (35% plus 7% stamp fee) on every single item we already own. When they are done, we pay them the duty to retrieve our things. So naturally, we agreed to bring as little as possible. In order to obtain a quote from a referred relocation company, we had to go through every item we own and assess whether we were going to bring it, sell it, or trash it. I had to compile a comprehensive list of all items that we are going to bring and what size box they would be packed in. We had to pack the entire place in our head and cross our fingers that we were correct to get an accurate quote.  Of course everything gets officially weighed to get a final cost when ready to ship.

We had braced ourselves for our landlord's response when after several years, we needed to break our lease in a short amount of time, and were begging his pity for having to move on such short notice. We were a bit shocked when his response was simply to ask just how soon we could be out. Ouch. Within hours of giving our notice his real estate agent called me to set up a time to show it to an interested client the very next day. And since I've seen Million Dollar Listing a time or two, I know how to show an apartment. The first client that saw the place wanted to rent it and we were all of a sudden negotiating a move date. Boom.

The next step was to try to sell our furniture since we couldn't afford to bring it with us. The homes in the Bahamas come furnished so it wasn't going to be an issue to part with everything we had and it didn't make sense to pay for a storage unit to house it all while we were gone. I took pictures of everything that we needed to sell and figured I'd start with a simple colored flyer that I would post on local streets and drop off at local real estate agents in Long Beach.

It was a Thursday by the time the rain had stopped enough for me to leave the fliers in neighboring mailboxes, not wanting my masterpieces to be ruined. I only had enough time that evening to stop by one realtor on my way to the grocery store and I figured it would be the one who rented our place, in case the incoming Doctor liked the sound of a furnished apartment. Rhonda wasn't available and the one woman who picked up her head gave me an icy reception until I mentioned the word "sale". All of a sudden, one-by-one like whack-a-mole, the women in the office started poking their heads out of their cubicles and all of them asked me for a flyer. I was soon out of every flyer I had left and the volume reached ear piercing levels when one of them asked why we were moving and selling everything. I was suddenly stuck in a hen house being bombed with questions. By the time I left, I had been sent an invitation by one of the realtors to join a facebook group for a neighboring town in Oceanside. I accepted the invitation when I got home, ready to post my flyer, and was surprised that my acceptance needed to be approved. Huh? How could I not foresee the intensity that was about to be bestowed upon me? I was "approved" that evening and simply posted a jpg of the flyer I had made, asking people to stop by that Saturday afternoon, giving all needed times and information. By the time Travis got home, I had over 150 messages in my inbox and was freaking out about how that number was growing by the second. I wouldn't go near the computer as I didn't dare open Facebook, as if all electronics were now possessed. Travis took a position with the laptop on the floor and studiously tried to answer as many as he could but he was obviously no match for these Long Island housewives. Within minutes people were fighting in the comment section over their perceived new ownership of particular items that were pictured in the flyer and we were being called out for bad business because we were unintentionally responding to people's inquiries out of order. That night I just kept dreaming of being chased by hundreds of short ladies with expensive handbags. It was awful.

When Saturday came, we didn't know what to expect. We half expected to be playing cards in beach chairs because everything had been sold out from under us to ravenous women. We also had company arriving any moment who were staying with us for the weekend, and we were a bit afraid that we might have to sell the guest bed they intended to sleep on that evening. It was a day of anything goes and my nerves required a beer. We posted our last sign and got ready for the sale that was supposed to start at 12:00p. At 12:01pm there was a minivan casing our drive and by 12:06p, we had made our first sale. By 12:07p, three of our neighbors asked us where we had advertised. We began to feel the power of social media. Thanks to this FB group, throughout the weekend, we had a steady stream of people coming and going. We didn't sell everything but we made a decent dent and have continued to sell items ala carte on that site.

The packing has been a breeze and we seem to have more boxes then stuff and I find myself wondering if I can sell unused boxes on that FB site as well. All of the furniture that is for sale had to be cleaned out and "take it away" ready, so every drawer and closet has already been gone through and packed up, which is always half the battle.

The table and bar stools are gone, but we're thankful to still have a couch and snack trays. We now start every evening by eating dinner and watching a taped episode of Caribbean Life where couples from snowy areas of the US finally break free, and move to the Caribbean. Still miles to go before we sleep, but soon enough, that'll be us in that Corona Commercial.

Next post: #12- In The Year Of Our Lord... Apr 17

#12 In The Year of Our Lord

Things were moving faster then a New York minute state-side but real estate negotiations were definitely on island time.

Even though my recent trip to the Doctor had come with strong recommendations to see a stomach specialist for my ulcers, I had a surprisingly calming feeling in my gut that our housing in the Bahamas would work itself out.

Welcome to the dichotomy that is me. I first noticed the giant discrepancy in my need to control the universe when planning Trav and I's wedding in the Caribbean. I realized quickly that I had little power from the US and oddly, willingly conceded. I was as surprised as our guests were on our Big Day and it was perfect! As I found myself continuously following up with our Real Estate agent in the Bahamas, with no results, I realized our new home would have to be the same way.

Looking back, I'm surprised I was able to sleep at night because a lot of factors are involved in acquiring a new home in a foreign country. Especially fully-furnished homes. We had been home over a month since seeing Bahamian properties and now all of them were rented. After looking through the minimal pictures on Bahamian listings, it became increasingly clear that another trip would need to be made to secure housing. Securing a safe home, in a safe neighborhood, where the furnishings fit our needs wasn't going to be as easy as catalog shopping. Or was it?

Rewind...

In the beginning of March, Trav and I had visited the Bahamas and I posted our experience and the homes we saw in my blog post, dated March 14th. #8- Live Where Others Vacation... I posted two pictures and one video. In the video, I accidentally filmed a pink house while we were waiting for the listing agent who was bringing us keys. We actually wound up touring the green house beside it because the pink house was rented. I posted the video because it was the only media I had from that days' real estate excursion. http://lifeisabahamianbeach.blogspot.com/2014_03_14_archive.html

 A month later, our real estate agent emailed us the news. He had the perfect home for us.

And guess what? It was THAT pink house.

I had goosebumps immediately. Seriously- This was kismet like never before. It had a fenced yard for Bob which I had already seen by touring the neighbor. The former tenant was going to take all of the current furnishings so we were given the chance to approve the new furniture, which was an incredible relief. The home is in the gated community that we have had our eye on so we knew we would be safe. And best of all, the price was too good to be true. Travis and I took two minutes to decide that it was meant to be, and we took it before it even went on the market.

It was the easiest lease we've ever signed. All we provided was our phone number, address in New York and full names and a lease was drawn up and scanned over. We both signed it and sent it back. Within hours we had a fully executed lease. I printed out a copy.

When I read the bottom signature line, I smiled. How could I have missed that previously? In our signature line, we had filled in the date in the space that had read 'in the year of our Lord'. I had never had God's signature so heavily on my lease before.

Hallelujah. Home Sweet Home.

#10- Let's Get This Party Started!

Wait! If new to this blog, there's so many nitty gritty details that you've missed! I promise that you'll want to start this adventure from the beginning by starting with the first post, Feb 27- found on the right side bar.  At your leisure, come follow our adventure, by reading following posts in order by date, (which I hope to keep short and entertaining!) Welcome to the Salt Life...

 ....
It may not have hit me when I was in the Bahamas but it definitely hit me when I was home. I had a longing that even now, I can't explain. I missed the people, the island, and everything about it. I had to get back. I had an overwhelming feeling that I had to get home.

The journey of life was mimicking Toad's Wild Ride again but we didn't mind as much because the grass was truly greener on the other side and we knew it would be worth the wait. It took two weeks after we had returned home to obtain the official offer letter and another week to agree on a start date.

May 19th was the date chosen and the clock began to tick.

First thing we needed to do was secure Visas. Travis is applying for a Work Visa and I'm applying for a Permit to Reside since I'm not legally allowed to get a job in the Bahamas without sponsorship. It goes back to the Bahamian Government's commitment to it's citizens that expatriates will not take local jobs. I know, the bad news just keeps coming, right? All jokes aside, when you've been working all of your life, it isn't as easy of a decision as one would think. It's been a mind struggle that I don't see resolving easily.

We needed more wallet-sized photos and I decided to test my luck again at the same CVS who had sabotaged my previous passport photos (previous post). A few minutes later, as I paid for our new Visa photos, I began boiling inside. The girl who took this round of pictures had apparently not received the no smile and no ear hiding memo because she didn't say a word about either. I knew I had been played...

After CVS, we made a stop at our local police station for Good Standing Certificates. Along with the application, we needed to provide hard evidence that we had been law abiding citizens, which just turned out to be a letter stating our address and that we haven't been arrested, all on City of Long Beach letterhead.

Lastly, we needed a Health Certificate advising we were in good health and free to leave the US. I hadn't been to a Doctor outside of an emergency room in over 7 years, so I was more then a little nervous on the morning of our appointments. After arriving to the Doctor's, they split us up in separate rooms so I was alone when the Nurse told me she needed to draw blood for the physical. I'm not sure what ever made me think I could be a Veterinarian because I scanned the room immediately for an escape when I heard this. A million possible scenarios to get out of being poked ran through my mind as she approached me abruptly with the needle. Nothing smells more like doom then rubbing alcohol. It all happened so quickly. She immediately incapacitated me with her man-hands around my bicep and my only option was to be brave and make awkward conversation. I looked everywhere but at the bad business that was happening to my arm as I secretly held back tears.  Apparently, it wasn't a well-kept secret because she silently slid me the box of tissues on her way out of the room. I am 34 years old! Do I get a sucker and a plastic toy too? I'm such a schmuck.

The test results came back and we obtained our good health letters.  Lastly, we needed to provide reference letters stating what truly wonderful people we are. Of course we wrote these glowing letters ourselves and had the first willing participant lend their signature.. kidding.. The Work Visa and Permit to Reside process takes 4-6 weeks so we have little time to get this in the mail. I'm getting used to this.

The next matter of business was in my opinion, the most important. The importation of our beloved Golden Retriever, who is starting to resemble his new nickname Bahamas Bob. How does one get a very spoiled, 100-lb, dog-aggressive, hairy beast over International waters to the Bahamas? GREAT question and one I had been asking myself for the last 6 months. It was time to put some kind of a plan into action.

Bob needed an exam and all necessary tests to confirm his almost 8-year old body was ready for this type of big move. This guy has already traveled across the country in his short life, so I wanted to minimize the stress of his next venture as much as possible. He also needed vaccines as required by his import papers.

Going to the Vet in Long Beach is always an experience in itself. Bob's current Veterinarian works out of the basement of his home that was destroyed by Hurricane Sandy in 2012. He is usually in his driveway when Bob and I pull up and he always leads us through his garage and into his basement for the exam. It's just him, no receptionist, no Technician, and no staff of any kind. Silence of the Lambs haunts my nightmares so the first time he asked me to follow him into the dark, I immediately thought that pulleys and baskets were in my near future.

The small space where he did Bob's current exam was cold and dark. In the room with us was just a scale, an examination table and an equally sparse desk. And even though, every time that I'm in that sterile room, the theme song of Dexter plays in my head, there is something about Dr. Hal that puts me at ease. And that's all that matters.

Bob was everything but 'at ease', as he was poked and prodded, just as I had been the day before. With a sturdy hand-shake and a promised future call with results, Bob and I checked this visit off of our to-do list.

There is no Quarantine in the Bahamas for dogs traveling from the United States, thank goodness. In order to obtain an Import Permit, I have to apply in writing to The Bahamas, stating all of Bob's information, and provide his current vaccine history, and $10.00 cash. Once The Bahamas receives this information, they will mail me an Import Permit which needs to accompany Bob the entire time during travel, as well as a list of permit requirements. In addition to the permit we will need to provide a Health Certificate and Bob will need to see a Vet in Nassau within 48 hours of our arrival to The Bahamas. Everything was ready to go except we needed the date of Bob's travel for the application. We needed to figure out how to get Bob to the Bahamas

When something is meant to be, the harp music starts playing in the background and rose petals fall at your feet. Getting Bob to the Bahamas has caused me six months of anguish and restless nights. I had no idea how I was going to get him there without flying him commercially, which I refused to do. Since he is insanely dog-aggressive and any standard travel options included him being kept in areas with other dogs, I knew he'd probably have to be sedated to be allowed to travel. Since sedated dogs can't regulate their body temperature, this poses a dangerous risk and makes it a necessity to travel in a guaranteed climate-controlled environment. This left us VERY minimal options. Especially in such short time.

And then...

 Heaven itself sent us an Angel. Trav's Aunt has amazing friends from high school and college that she has kept in great touch with through the years.  We often have the pleasure of hanging out with everyone and catching up at family events. These salt of the earth type of people always include a very special duo, Kristy and Dave. Big Michigan State fans, they live in Michigan, but have a plane that they keep in Florida during the cold winter months. I remembered that in September, before we knew this job was a possibility, we had been chatting about them flying their dog, Mullet, to and from his pet sitters. When Dave told Travis that he would be happy to fly Bob over to the Bahamas, I cried. Nothing else mattered. I was overwhelmed with relief.

And to be honest, a little envy. It's on my bucket list to jet off on a private plane.  Leave it to my Golden Retriever to beat me to it. I guess blondes really do have more fun...

Read Next: #11-Queen of Moving , Apr 23

#9- Strangers On a Train

Ironically, I watched Gravity on the plane home while feeling the heaviest emotions of my life, and oddly, I was thankful for it. I had no previous interest in seeing such a stressful film, and for 2 solid hours, I did not think about the Bahamas.

It was overwhelming. We needed to fill our family and friends in on the details of our trip, and each time we told the story, we were cathartically working through our very raw feelings and emotions. The same story received the same collective answer "what are you waiting for?".

The truth was, we didn't know. On Monday, Travis discussed the offer letter that was going to start its descent through the chain-of-command on Tuesday morning, and as far as we knew, there weren't any surprises. I'd say it was probably better then what we initially expected going into this process. We waited patiently to pop the bottles that had been chilling for over a year for this type of occasion.

In the meantime, New York was up to her no good ways. The cruel winter had not ceased its destruction while we were away. We spent our entire Saturday in traffic, picking up Bob from New Jersey, all due to pot hole repair. The winter had messed with our schedules for so long, and ironically on the first 60-degree day we were continuing to sacrifice our time to Mother Nature. Unbelievable...

The next day we thought we would try to get out and get a beer to clear our heads. What was supposed to be an enjoyable Sunday Funday with good beer and great food,turned into a stressful afternoon in the cold, followed by a $20.00 cab ride home, after learning our car battery was the latest casualty of winter. With no mechanic open on Sunday, the car spent the night on the other side of town, until I could figure everything out on Monday, which made for an exciting day of unexpected running around... in the snow.

By Tuesday, I was mentally exhausted and my body was starting to shut down. It was the cold before the cold and my body was putting up a valiant effort. And then Travis reminded me we had dinner with the Queen that evening. Ugh...

"Queen of the Night" is a new dinner theater that is all the talk in New York. It's supposed to be crazy erotic and avante-garde and interactive. All things that make the hair on my neck stand straight up. I had heard rumors that the characters grab you and take you to different rooms where you have to do what they say and in some room, some where, there's a naked chick and a tub of milk and if told to, you have to bathe her. No way, no how, not happening.

So when the invitation came to me, I have no idea why I allowed myself to accept. I was bribed with alcohol, yes, that must've been it.

I just happened to read the invitation that day and saw:

 "DRESS to please the Queen. We remind you to dig into the deepest reaches of your armoires for the one piece you never thought you’d have occasion to wear—your finest jewels, your great-aunt’s vintage gown, your swankest of tuxedos. Astound us! Kindly note the Queen will deny entrance to guests who are not appropriately dressed. Please ensure every member of your party understands the dress code." 

Oh sh#t, what did I get myself into? No jeans? Now what? I wouldn't have this issue in the Bahamas... I grabbed a sweater and some leggings but fearing the leggings might be see-through, I wore tights underneath and some jewelry that I had never worn previously, as the invite dictated. I felt way too insulated on the train and I knew that I had overdressed. By the time I had arrived to meet Travis and our friends at McManus, I was not feeling well and my sweater, tights, and the warm day were not doing me any favors. I had a drink at the bar that seemed to make me burn up instead of cool down. All the while, we made our way to the Paramount  Hotel where the show took place. After waiting in line (typical new york), we are ushered in to this creepy hotel with plywood corridors with blind corners.  NOT. my. jam. I had already started to breathe faster and was making my hands into tight little fists in case someone grabbed me from behind. When one of the girls in our group got pulled to the side and whipped, I knew I wanted out before it even began. I tried my best to blend in as I made my way to the bar, I needed a cold drink, a fan, and some kind of super power to take me far far away from here. Apparently all the drinks on the bar were pre-made and what you saw was what you got. All fully loaded with triple sec and lime juice, which somehow directly correlates to my face flushing and my temperature rising even more, I was doomed after a couple of sips and ditched it. By the time we made it into the small auditorium with few tables and a main stage, I noticed that the few people involved were co-mingling. I also noticed that Hugh Jackman was one of the dinner guests. No one was making a scene (also typical new york) and that was probably because there was plenty of weird stuff happening all around us. I made my way to a corner and tried to sneak in a bit of fresh air. I was praying to find an air conditioning duct, just a tiny pocket of air, as I adapted to my new surroundings. I was starting to panic as I continued to overheat and after pulling my hair up off of my neck, I grabbed the invitation and began to fan myself. Dressed in all black, I was trying to shrink away into the dark, all the while, praying that I blended in with the scenery.

I should've known that praying doesn't do me any good in these types of situations. I have developed a serious social phobia and if you know me post high school, I defer public attention of any kind. Opening presents at our couples wedding shower, in front of our closest friends and family, was a much discussed part of wedding planning; and that was in front of people I know and love. I refuse to be in the spotlight for anything, under any circumstance, however, the universe likes to make it known that it strongly disagrees. I will always be the one picked to go up on-stage when someone is looking for volunteers. And I never volunteer.  Even if I do my best to avoid all eye contact with the person picking and am the only one not raising my hand, I will be chosen. So, it didn't surprise me when I felt my arm get grabbed and I knew it wasn't Travis.

My heart sank and beat out of my chest at the same time. I wanted to grab my arm back and run but I thought I might be thrown out, or worse, cause a scene. Remember, for some reason, we paid for this and no one else was disobeying. She led me through the crowd of people, then stopped cold and told me not to move. She took away my "fan" and I felt complete terror take over my body. She wrapped me up in some sort of fire hose, like a boa constrictor, so I couldn't move, or run away. My mind was racing. At this point, it was still dark and not many people were noticing what was going on, so I thought I might be okay. Nope.

All of a sudden what felt like a dozen spotlights were turned on and pointed directly on me. I actually felt their heat like flames. My body temperature went through the roof and my mind was in a frenzy. I looked all around me, feeling like I was going to be burned at the stake, pleading with my eyes for someone in our group to please take my place. A larger group started to gather and so did the sweat on my forehead, nose, and chin. I was sweating everywhere instantaneously which, of course, made me hyperventilate even more, because I was sweating. And just when I started to hear murmurs in the crowd saying "why is she sweating?" I looked up, and realized that even my eye balls were sweating. I somehow saw a dangling hook. Oh man. This was NOT good.

This woman who was now my personal Pontius Pilate showed no mercy as I stood there, on display, sweating like Whitney Houston in front of the world, when she connected herself onto the hook and continued to do air aerobics above my head. Bravo Queen of the Night- you have somehow dug into the depths of my subconscious and created my personal hell, in front of my husband, my friends, and Hugh Jackman. Bravo

When her feet finally touched the ground, there was no apology or remorse. She simply untied me and sent me on my way with a seductive head nod, not acknowledging in any way that I had been scarred forever. Just then, I overheard another dinner guest as she dispersed from the crowd say "wow, that was so much more embarrassing then being publicly violated by a naked stripper". You have no idea lady. Thanks

I didn't know or care how tables and chairs materialized after that, and I didn't even care that my dinner silverware was almost getting stepped on by the people simulating sex on top of our table. I couldn't push my seat back into the darkness any farther and I was too scared to even go to the bathroom. If someone touched me again, they were going to die. I made Travis get me a vodka soda from the bar, no frilly stuff and no triple sec, and I didn't care that it cost another $20.00. I feigned my excitement that I had to eat lobster that came in cages and bribe other tables for their risotto. After listening to a woman at the communal table ask me a million questions about my dog walking business, I was searching for a prop gun. This was so not my scene. I don't belong here. This was hell on earth.

The night was a disaster. As we finally escaped the underbelly of Penn Station, I realized I might not miss New York- I've always been a stranger on her train...

Read Next: #10- Let's Get This Party Started, Apr 1

#8- Live where others vacation...

Travis was up and out early for interviews and I didn't really know what to do with myself. I went down to the pool but of course it was cold and rainy so I came back up to the room. I bounced from the balcony, to the couch, to the chair, to the bed, not able to sit tight. Finally Trav came back and told me all about his morning meetings. Everything had gone great. This was awesome news.

We met a real estate agent downstairs in the lobby. He had been given a budget from the HR team and showed us nine homes. These places were crazy!

Each home was in a different gated community within 10-minutes of Travis's new work. Each unit came fully furnished and had beautiful grounds to walk Bob. All properties had pools of every shape and size and all but one had beach access. Some had beach access from their back door.

Our favorite was a free standing home that had 3-bedrooms and an office. There was a large veranda, out three patio doors. The veranda led to a grass area and its own boat dock. There was sand that led into the crystal blue lagoon where Bob would be able to take a swim whenever he pleased. The beach was a perfect spot to house kayaks or paddle boards. We could see ourselves spending numerous hours having coffee or wine on the deck or down in the water, swimming with Bob. It opened up the possibility that we might actually be able to live the life we've always dreamed of.

By the end of our trek through west end suburbia, we had a good idea of what we were looking for and what price range. We were so much more confident that a life in the Bahamas was actually possible, and so much better then New York.

We returned to the hotel excited and for the first time, able to picture our lives in the Bahamas. We had so much running through our mind, though little time to talk about it. We rushed back to the hotel and got ready for dinner.

Reservations had been made for Trav and I at Mesa Grill at the Cove in Atlantis, Paradise Island. We took a cab over and enjoyed a few drinks at the bar before letting the waitress order our entire meal. It was fantastic and so was she. I was so impressed by every Bahamian that crossed our path and enriched our experience. From the tour guide to the hostess, everyone was so happy to be there and it showed.

We walked around the restaurant and the grounds of the Cove. For those that believe in The Secret- here's one for your vision board.

In 2007, I was working for a company that decided to have its annual meeting at the newly built Cove in Atlantis. It was amazing. One of the nicest rooms I've ever stayed in. While the majority of my days were spent in meetings, we had one free day to ourselves. It was one of the best days of my life.

People have told me throughout my life that there's nothing like taking an amazing vacation, by yourself. But who has the opportunity to do such a thing? I now know what they're talking about because for my one free day, I was able to pretend like I was on a luxurious vacation, all by myself. I was free to do whatever I wanted to do and everything was at my disposal. I had a long massage and hung out at the spa. I pool hopped at the main Atlantis pool and went round and round in the lazy river. I grabbed lunch and a cocktail at the Cove pool bar and dragged my beach chair out to where the sand came to a point. In this crowded resort, I was the only one on the beach that day. I felt such peace and sheer joy in that moment. I have always remembered that day and that moment and I have frequently envisioned myself back in time. This specific moment is my happy place.

Now 7 years later, we were standing in the same spot where this special moment was created. My happy place was about to become our home.


Read Next: #9- Strangers on a Train, Mar 15